Husband just admitted to having an affair. We have 3 kids at home, and I’m still just trying to process all of this. He has said he does not want to split everything and wants custody. I guess what’s I’m asking is should I hire a cut throat lawyer?
The court is going to look at what has been documented through law enforcement. The court does not care about affairs or why the marriage ended. Stay focused on what matters, which is creating a strong coparenting relationship with your child’s father. This is the...
What do I do when my three year old is having a tantrum and repeats the same phrase while crying for 30 or 45 minutes?
These are tough to experience and developmentally appropriate. Breathe by inhaling deeply and then fully pushing all the air from your diaphragm on the exhale. Repeat as often as needed while she’s needing support. Jump her into the prefrontal cortex by calling...
Mom Question: I work and do all the work at home, too! How can I make him understand?
I do all the work. My husband gets a promotion and it’s the biggest deal in the world—and I’m happy for him. But I work, too, and I still do everything else—doctor appts, birthday planning, you name it. I resent this, I admit it! How can I get him to do more? Couple...
Should my 12-year-old have Instagram, Snapchat, or TikTok?
Question for all parents. Would you let your 12-year-old daughter have Instagram, Snapchat, or TikTok? I’m trying to be reasonable with my daughter cause I know a lot of her friends have these apps and she’s kinda singled out as one without it. I’m a younger mom at...
Should I let my child close their bedroom door?
A common question from parents of young children is, “Should I let my child close their bedroom door?” or from parents of older teens, “My child wants a lock for their bedroom door, is this a good idea?” * Why does this matter? An optimal way to help your child learn...
Let it go
It’s a disservice to say “let it go” to loved ones or any “ones” who are caught in a thought or behavior pattern or an addiction that is not working for them. * “Let it go” makes it sound easy, as if you’d get the same, immediate outcome ...
A Strategy for Grace: For yourself and others
The holidays (and regular days!) can create a lower stress threshold, causing even simple things others say or do to become annoying. When chronic annoyance is present, it is the annoyed, not the annoyer, who has some work to do. Impatience, annoyance,...
Conversations with my Children: Mackenzie Makes a Decision
Conversations with my Children My daughter, Mackenzie, was deciding whether to give her first boyfriend another chance (actually a 3rd chance), or to end the relationship. When the relationship started, she was 19, he was 21. He held many wonderful qualities and was...
The Essentials of Shame, Part 3
The Essentials of Shame, Part 3 In Part 1, we talked about why shame is chosen. In Part 2, we dove into how each parenting style affects the development of shame. What now? What if you carry shame from childhood, or can see that you say and do things that may be...
The Essentials of Shame Part 2
Click here to read Part 1. It’s useful to understand how and why shame is chosen when we are children. Once this is understood, shame can begin to be healed and released. For parents, this healing work helps them build a parenting style that minimizes the development...
CARA DAY, Ph.D.
Family Coach
Recent Posts
Expansion in MarriageAugust 3, 2025- I have a 6 month old, and on his father’s side they love to pick him up as soon as he cries (they do this with all the kids in the family). The thing is, on my side of the family, they get so mad at me for picking up my son as soon as he cries. They say I am causing him future behavior issues. I get shamed by my family. What am I supposed to do?June 6, 2025
- I have a life coach that I love and my family thinks it’s not smart to work with a life coach. I’ve had therapists in the past and it didn’t do much for me. Now, I’m getting results. What do you think?April 13, 2025
- So this happened to my family today – I recieved the below text from a neighborhood friend my oldest daughter has basically grown up with. I’m not quite sure how she even came to this conclusion, as my family and I are relatively private people. I’m sad my daughter has lost a friend, and just wondering the best way to navigate this as they are neighbors, so running into them is inevitable…April 1, 2025
- Six Words to Build Autonomy and Save Parental EnergySeptember 27, 2024
