Should I let my child close their bedroom door?

A common question from parents of young children is, “Should I let my child close their bedroom door?” or from parents of older teens, “My child wants a lock for their bedroom door, is this a good idea?” * Why does this matter? An optimal way to help your child learn...

Let it go

It’s  a disservice to say “let it go” to loved ones or any “ones” who are  caught in a thought or behavior pattern or an addiction that is not  working for them. * “Let  it go” makes it sound easy, as if you’d get the same, immediate outcome ...

A Strategy for Grace: For yourself and others

The holidays (and regular days!) can create a lower stress threshold, causing even simple things others say or do to become annoying. When chronic annoyance is present, it is the annoyed, not the annoyer, who has some work to do. Impatience, annoyance,...

Conversations with my Children: Mackenzie Makes a Decision

 Conversations with my Children My daughter, Mackenzie, was deciding whether to give her first boyfriend another chance (actually a 3rd chance), or to end the relationship. When the relationship started, she was 19, he was 21. He held many wonderful qualities and was...

The Essentials of Shame, Part 3

The Essentials of Shame, Part 3 In Part 1, we talked about why shame is chosen. In Part 2, we dove into how each parenting style affects the development of shame. What now? What if you carry shame from childhood, or can see that you say and do things that may be...
Should I let my child close their bedroom door?

Should I let my child close their bedroom door?

A common question from parents of young children is, “Should I let my child close their bedroom door?” or from parents of older teens, “My child wants a lock for their bedroom door, is this a good idea?” * Why does this matter? An optimal way to help your child learn...

read more
Let it go

Let it go

It’s  a disservice to say “let it go” to loved ones or any “ones” who are  caught in a thought or behavior pattern or an addiction that is not  working for them. * “Let  it go” makes it sound easy, as if you’d get the same, immediate outcome ...

read more
A Strategy for Grace: For yourself and others

A Strategy for Grace: For yourself and others

The holidays (and regular days!) can create a lower stress threshold, causing even simple things others say or do to become annoying. When chronic annoyance is present, it is the annoyed, not the annoyer, who has some work to do. Impatience, annoyance,...

read more
The Essentials of Shame, Part 3

The Essentials of Shame, Part 3

The Essentials of Shame, Part 3 In Part 1, we talked about why shame is chosen. In Part 2, we dove into how each parenting style affects the development of shame. What now? What if you carry shame from childhood, or can see that you say and do things that may be...

read more
The Essentials of Shame Part 2

The Essentials of Shame Part 2

Click here to read Part 1. It’s useful to understand how and why shame is chosen when we are children. Once this is understood, shame can begin to be healed and released. For parents, this healing work helps them build a parenting style that minimizes the development...

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The Essentials of Shame

The Essentials of Shame

Today I'd like to talk about something that's an important foundation of our work together--healing shame. This will be done in 4 parts.  Part 1 today.To start, it's important to understand the origin of shame, why we are biologically programmed to...

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Teenagers and Porn

Teenagers and Porn

There are many ways children can have exposure to porn, even if they are closely supervised, and are being raised by conscientious parents. Here are some of them: Your child’s friend or friend’s older sibling exposes your child to porn either at your house, or when...

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Toddler Talk

Toddler Talk

Parenting a toddler is an exhilarating and humbling experience! By using the same phrases on a regular basis, you create a feeling of security and predictability into the sometimes topsy-turvy world of a toddler. Use these short, positively stated phrases to help your toddler understand what choices they have in any given moment.

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Winning Ways to Speak by Cara Day

Winning Ways to Speak by Cara Day

Winning Ways to Speak by Cara Day The words you use, how they are put together, combined with the open, expansiveness of your eyes, your tone of voice, and the warmth of your body language help determine the quality of your communication with your children (and other...

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CARA DAY, M.A.

Family Coach

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