I need to do some soul searching and decide what I want my future to look like, that is, if I want to stay in marriage. I am at a cross roads in my life and I don’t know how to figure out what I want and in what order I should do things in. I have been doing what I feel is right for my kids but I’m losing myself along the way and ultimately that won’t be good for them. 

I need to do some soul searching and decide what I want my future to look like, that is, if I want to stay in marriage. I am at a cross roads in my life and I don’t know how to figure out what I want and in what order I should do things in. I have been doing what I feel is right for my kids but I’m losing myself along the way and ultimately that won’t be good for them. 

A great strategy is to make a list of pains and gains. This is a little different than pros and cons, and can help identify the values associated with each choice. So you do the pains and gains of staying, and the pains and gains of leaving. You also can do it for the...