It’s a disservice to say “let it go” to loved ones or any “ones” who are caught in a thought or behavior pattern or an addiction that is not working for them.
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“Let it go” makes it sound easy, as if you’d get the same, immediate outcome as you would letting go of a helium balloon or dog leash.
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Unhelpful patterns are hard-wired in the brain, due to neural networks that are strengthened over time—perhaps a very long time. Some develop as a response to trauma. Some from coping strategies that were formed in childhood.
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When attempts to “let it go” are unsuccessful, we can feel even worse. At the extreme, this can lead to depression and a pattern of learned helplessness. The thought becomes, “Everyone else can just let it go, why can’t I? What’s wrong with me?”
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It is possible to release from unhelpful behaviors and thought patterns, no matter how entrenched they may feel. You can get on the cause side of any situation, pattern, or relationship by intercepting your pattern at the choice point. This is done initially through awareness.
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Second, you need a custom game-plan. This includes replacement actions and thoughts, and specific tools to engage with as soon as you move toward or see yourself already in your habit or tendency. The moment the repetitive pattern is intercepted, new neural networks in the pre-frontal cortex start to form.
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Then, keep a keen awareness. Don’t be lazy. This is your life.
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When it comes to synapses, whatever fires together, wires together. Every time you do something different, the new neural network strengthens, and the old network starts to break down. In time, the new network gains automaticity, and what was once difficult, becomes easier. Hence, the “let go.”
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Whether it’s an unhelpful thought pattern or a life-threatening addiction, I can help you do this work. You deserve the freedom of living with agency, on the cause side of your life.
