I need to do some soul searching and decide what I want my future to look like, that is, if I want to stay in marriage. I am at a cross roads in my life and I don’t know how to figure out what I want and in what order I should do things in. I have been doing what I feel is right for my kids but I’m losing myself along the way and ultimately that won’t be good for them.
A great strategy is to make a list of pains and gains. This is a little different than pros and cons, and can help identify the values associated with each choice. So you do the pains and gains of staying, and the pains and gains of leaving. You also can do it for the...
Husband just admitted to having an affair. We have 3 kids at home, and I’m still just trying to process all of this. He has said he does not want to split everything and wants custody. I guess what’s I’m asking is should I hire a cut throat lawyer?
The court is going to look at what has been documented through law enforcement. The court does not care about affairs or why the marriage ended. Stay focused on what matters, which is creating a strong coparenting relationship with your child’s father. This is the...
What do I do when my three year old is having a tantrum and repeats the same phrase while crying for 30 or 45 minutes?
These are tough to experience and developmentally appropriate. Breathe by inhaling deeply and then fully pushing all the air from your diaphragm on the exhale. Repeat as often as needed while she’s needing support. Jump her into the prefrontal cortex by calling...
Mom Question: I work and do all the work at home, too! How can I make him understand?
I do all the work. My husband gets a promotion and it’s the biggest deal in the world—and I’m happy for him. But I work, too, and I still do everything else—doctor appts, birthday planning, you name it. I resent this, I admit it! How can I get him to do more? Couple...
Should my 12-year-old have Instagram, Snapchat, or TikTok?
Question for all parents. Would you let your 12-year-old daughter have Instagram, Snapchat, or TikTok? I’m trying to be reasonable with my daughter cause I know a lot of her friends have these apps and she’s kinda singled out as one without it. I’m a younger mom at...
Should I let my child close their bedroom door?
A common question from parents of young children is, “Should I let my child close their bedroom door?” or from parents of older teens, “My child wants a lock for their bedroom door, is this a good idea?” * Why does this matter? An optimal way to help your child learn...
Let it go
It’s a disservice to say “let it go” to loved ones or any “ones” who are caught in a thought or behavior pattern or an addiction that is not working for them. * “Let it go” makes it sound easy, as if you’d get the same, immediate outcome ...
A Strategy for Grace: For yourself and others
The holidays (and regular days!) can create a lower stress threshold, causing even simple things others say or do to become annoying. When chronic annoyance is present, it is the annoyed, not the annoyer, who has some work to do. Impatience, annoyance,...
Conversations with my Children: Mackenzie Makes a Decision
Conversations with my Children My daughter, Mackenzie, was deciding whether to give her first boyfriend another chance (actually a 3rd chance), or to end the relationship. When the relationship started, she was 19, he was 21. He held many wonderful qualities and was...
The Essentials of Shame, Part 3
The Essentials of Shame, Part 3 In Part 1, we talked about why shame is chosen. In Part 2, we dove into how each parenting style affects the development of shame. What now? What if you carry shame from childhood, or can see that you say and do things that may be...
CARA DAY, M.A.
Family Coach
Recent Posts
I need to do some soul searching and decide what I want my future to look like, that is, if I want to stay in marriage. I am at a cross roads in my life and I don’t know how to figure out what I want and in what order I should do things in. I have been doing what I feel is right for my kids but I’m losing myself along the way and ultimately that won’t be good for them. December 7, 2023
Husband just admitted to having an affair. We have 3 kids at home, and I’m still just trying to process all of this. He has said he does not want to split everything and wants custody. I guess what’s I’m asking is should I hire a cut throat lawyer?November 26, 2023
What do I do when my three year old is having a tantrum and repeats the same phrase while crying for 30 or 45 minutes?November 26, 2023
Mom Question: I work and do all the work at home, too! How can I make him understand?June 25, 2023
Should my 12-year-old have Instagram, Snapchat, or TikTok?June 24, 2023