I’m looking to set up a suitable chore list for my kids and was curious if you had a good format that I could reference? I currently ask them to help unload the dishwasher, clean their rooms and make their bed each morning (all without pay), but curious if there were other things you’d recommend or parameters that you set that are appropriate for 9 and 11 year olds?

I’m looking to set up a suitable chore list for my kids and was curious if you had a good format that I could reference? I currently ask them to help unload the dishwasher, clean their rooms and make their bed each morning (all without pay), but curious if there were other things you’d recommend or parameters that you set that are appropriate for 9 and 11 year olds?

This is a common question, and there’s many ways to build a values-based system for your family. Here is a “Flow of Abundance” chart that helps children see that we get out of life what we put into it. If we are thoughtful and generous with our time,...
I need to do some soul searching and decide what I want my future to look like, that is, if I want to stay in marriage. I am at a cross roads in my life and I don’t know how to figure out what I want and in what order I should do things in. I have been doing what I feel is right for my kids but I’m losing myself along the way and ultimately that won’t be good for them. 

I need to do some soul searching and decide what I want my future to look like, that is, if I want to stay in marriage. I am at a cross roads in my life and I don’t know how to figure out what I want and in what order I should do things in. I have been doing what I feel is right for my kids but I’m losing myself along the way and ultimately that won’t be good for them. 

A great strategy is to make a list of pains and gains. This is a little different than pros and cons, and can help identify the values associated with each choice. So you do the pains and gains of staying, and the pains and gains of leaving. You also can do it for the...
Husband just admitted to having an affair. We have 3 kids at home, and I’m still just trying to process all of this. He has said he does not want to split everything and wants custody. I guess what’s I’m asking is should I hire a cut throat lawyer?

Husband just admitted to having an affair. We have 3 kids at home, and I’m still just trying to process all of this. He has said he does not want to split everything and wants custody. I guess what’s I’m asking is should I hire a cut throat lawyer?

The court is going to look at what has been documented through law enforcement. The court does not care about affairs or why the marriage ended. Stay focused on what matters, which is creating a strong coparenting relationship with your child’s father. This is the...
Should I let my child close their bedroom door?

Should I let my child close their bedroom door?

A common question from parents of young children is, “Should I let my child close their bedroom door?” or from parents of older teens, “My child wants a lock for their bedroom door, is this a good idea?” * Why does this matter? An optimal way to help your child learn...
Let it go

Let it go

It’s  a disservice to say “let it go” to loved ones or any “ones” who are  caught in a thought or behavior pattern or an addiction that is not  working for them. * “Let  it go” makes it sound easy, as if you’d get the same, immediate outcome ...
A Strategy for Grace: For yourself and others

A Strategy for Grace: For yourself and others

The holidays (and regular days!) can create a lower stress threshold, causing even simple things others say or do to become annoying. When chronic annoyance is present, it is the annoyed, not the annoyer, who has some work to do. Impatience, annoyance,...